Why You’re Chained To Your Work (and What To Do About It)

You may already know that fear is one of the primary reasons you continue to work at a job you don’t like. But you’re probably incorrect about exactly what you’re afraid of. You likely think you’re staying in that job out of a fear of the unknown, which is what most people believe. There is probably some truth to that idea, which is why it resonates.

But I will bet that there’s a deeper fear that’s the real culprit. What makes me so sure of that?

Psychology and behavioural economics.

In the late 1970s, Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky developed Prospect Theory, and one of their key findings has become known as loss aversion. The phenomenon of loss aversion has become widely accepted in behavioural economics and psychology. It is a cognitive bias that describes our tendency to prefer avoiding losses over acquiring equivalent gains. In simple terms, the pain of losing something is significantly more impactful than the pleasure of gaining something of the same value. In fact, the evidence shows that we are twice as likely to wish to avoid a loss rather than make an equivalent gain.

For instance, imagine losing $100. The distress and discomfort you experience from this loss would be approximately double the amount of joy you’d feel from finding $100. This disproportionate emotional response to loss versus gain can lead you to make irrational decisions, especially in financial or career contexts.

This bias keeps many people stuck in a job that leaves them unfulfilled, as the potential loss of income, benefits, familiar routine, work colleagues, sense of competence, and even one’s identity can feel more painful than all the potential gains from embarking on a new career journey.

Loss aversion keeps you stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction, as you willingly endure your current situation to avoid the perceived pain of loss. This psychological barrier often prevents you from taking risks or making changes that could lead to greater happiness and fulfilment. Instead, you remain tethered to your current comfort zone, even if it means sacrificing long-term satisfaction for short-term security.

What are you afraid of losing?

Financial stability. You’ve designed your lifestyle around your current level of income, so you worry about what will happen to your lifestyle if you embark on something new.
What you’ve invested in your career already. This is a cognitive bias closely related to loss aversion, where you will keep going in a direction that you know is wrong in order to avoid losing what you’ve already gained. You’ve likely invested significant time, energy, and resources into developing your current work life, so you resist making a change that would make you feel you’re abandoning those investments.
Sense of comfort and certainty. Your current habits and routines are likely to be disrupted if you decide to embark on an alternative career path. Humans need patterns and routines, so the thought of having to potentially let go of what has served you well up to now can be a challenging idea.
Your social and professional identity. You’ve likely derived a sense of identity and self-worth from their job. Leaving a job can make you feel you’re losing a part of yourself, your professional identity, and the social connections you’ve developed in the workplace.
Your reputation. After you’ve spent years building a career, stepping into something different might seem like you’d be taking a step backwards in your career. Losing seniority, no longer being considered the expert, and having friends and family wonder why on earth you’re moving in a direction that may feel backwards to them are potential consequences of stepping into something different after years of building a career.

These are all legitimate concerns, but you shouldn’t only base a decision as fundamental as what to do in your career solely on avoiding risk and potential loss. You also need to consider what you might gain. So how to overcome loss aversion?

Strategies for overcoming loss aversion in your career

OK, so now that you know why you’re staying in the job you don’t want to be in, what can you DO about it? Knowing is only the first step; you need to take action to make change happen. Here are some strategies to help:

Reframe your perspective. Rather than focusing only on what you might lose in a transition, concentrate on what you might gain. Write these out! How might a change impact your level of satisfaction with your work, what new skills might you be able to learn, and what things about a potential change excite you? It’s important not to forget about opportunity costs; the things you might lose out on by staying stuck where you are.
Visualize success. Imagine you decide to take the leap into something new; what would it look like if you were successful in that transition? How would your day-to-day life change? Visualizing the positive outcomes can help increase motivation and reduce fear.
Take on side-projects or part-time work. Start exploring new career interests through side projects, part-time work, or freelancing. This approach allows for a gradual transition, reducing the immediate perceived risk.
Invest in learning. Investing in developing skills in a new domain that you’re interested in is not only useful for building up the skills required to be successful, but also helps increase your confidence in yourself.
Mitigate financial risks. Making a career transition often requires you to take a step back in terms of income. Making a major career transition can already be stressful enough, without the added worry of trying to figure out how you’ll put food on the table. Create yourself a financial safety net to help support you before making a major career transition.
Seek appropriate support. It’s difficult to navigate meaningful change on your own. While you may decide to rely on friends and family members to support you through a transition, it is important to remember that they may resist you changing. After all, they love you the way you are! A good career coach can offer you support, provide an independent and non-judgemental voice, and walk you through proven frameworks to help prepare you for and ease you into a career transition.
Make incremental changes. Instead of thinking you need to up and quit your job to follow your passion, break your career change process into smaller, manageable steps. Not only will achieving these smaller incremental goals mitigate most of the risks associated with a career change, they can also boost your confidence, as well as allowing you to decide whether you enjoy the path you’re embarking on.
Fear setting exercise. There’s a reason that Tim Ferriss has such a huge following; he’s got some really insightful ideas and practices. Give his fear-setting exercise a try. I guarantee it is worth your time.

Conclusion

It’s normal for you to stay in a job that isn’t doing it for, even if it doesn’t feel “comfortable” to you. Even though you want to leave, you want to explore something new, and yes, even if you know deep down n your soul that you’re not spending your time living the way you know you should be, you struggle to change. It’s not that there’s something wrong with you; you’re just human. So normal human biases will impact your thinking and decision-making processes.

But you can overcome those biases and make a meaningful transition. Remember that it won’t happen unless you take action. Doing the same thing today as you did yesterday and the day before that is a way to ensure you keep getting the same results. Don’t be afraid to mix it up and experiment with some strategies listed above.

Change starts with you.

Quotation that I have been pondering

This week’s article was inspired by this quote from the Indian author and psychotherapist Anthony De Mello:

“It’s not that we fear the unknown. You cannot fear something you do not know. Nobody is afraid of the unknown. What you really fear is the loss of the known.”

It is a fantastic framing of loss aversion, and it feels correct to me we can’t fear something we don’t even know.

Journal Prompt

We’re already two-thirds of the way through 2024, as hard to believe as that may be. The time passes by so quickly.

So if you keep putting things off until tomorrow, you’ll suddenly find you’re out of time to make the type of changes you want to make to your life.

“How am I doing on the goals I set for myself for 2024? Are they still relevant? What do I need to change in my daily habits to become the type of person who accomplishes goals like I have? ”

If you’re the type of person who likes to achieve goals, these are questions worth reflecting on.

Call to Adventure

I know how it can be to work a job you don’t enjoy and knowing that you want to change things up, but feeling stuck. It can feel you’ve nothing left to give after work and you just want to settle in with some Netflix, a glass of wine, and forget about your work. Numb those feelings until the next day.

But making change requires you to recognize what you’re doing and realize that continuing to do that will only result in you spending more time in a job you don’t want. You need to take action if you want to change.

I’ve been there – and I know how to get out of that trap. I’ve helped others do it too. Don’t waste too much of your one precious life.

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