How your hustle became your hiding place.
You’re addicted to tactics because strategy requires something far scarier: honesty about what you actually want.
I know because I was a tactics junkie too. Had my morning routine locked by 5:47am. Read every negotiation book, and got so good at managing up my boss thought I was magic.
I got the promotion. Senior executive. The title I’d chased for years.
Six months later I was in the hospital. My perfectly optimized life had collapsed. Turns out I’d mastered answering the wrong questions, and it nearly killed me.
You’re Drowning in Other People’s Answers
Open your browser history. Go ahead; I’ll wait.
It’s likely a graveyard of desperate searches:
- “How to negotiate salary”
- “Morning routines of billionaires”
- “5 productivity hacks from Navy SEALs.”
- “SMART goals that actually work”
- “Time-blocking vs Pomodoro”
- “Best supplements for focus”
- “How to network without feeling fake”
- “Deep work strategies”
But every how-to article is someone else telling you what game to play.
You lap it up because tactics feel like progress. You think you’re doing something.
But you’re NOT progressing. Instead, you’re procrastinating on the real work. You’re hiding.
You can wake up at 3am to journal about cold showers all you want, but you’ll still be dead inside by lunch.
Upgrade Your Questions
Tactics are comfortable. Strategy is confrontational.
Let me show you the difference between the garbage questions you’re asking yourself and the real ones you’re avoiding.
Garbage: “What’s the best productivity system?” Real: “Why do I need military discipline just to survive my own life?”
Garbage: “How do I get promoted faster?” Real: “Why am I begging for validation from people I don’t respect?”
Garbage: “How do I find work-life balance?” Real: “Why did I design a life where work is prison and everything else is parole?”
You get the point.
The quality of your life depends on the quality of your questions.
Keep asking garbage questions, and you’ll stay stuck in the life you claim not to want.
Why “Why” Scares You
The deep, soul-work questions don’t have tidy answers you can implement by Monday.
There’s no framework for admitting you’ve been cosplaying someone else’s life.
No app fixes an identity built on other people’s expectations.
When you ask “how,” you stay busy. When you ask “why,” you get real.
Reality tastes bitter.
- You don’t want the promotion, you want daddy’s approval.
- You’re not building a career, you’re building a distraction from emptiness.
- You don’t need more money, you need to stop trying to purchase meaning.
- You’re not crushing it, you’re crushing yourself.
I spent years perfecting tactics for a strategy I’d never questioned. World-class at climbing a ladder that was leaning against the wrong wall.
The Day I Stopped Playing Dead
After the hospital, after recovery, after the humiliation of optimizing myself into a medical emergency, I did something radical – and I encourage you to do the same.
I stopped asking “how” and started asking “why.”
- Why was I killing myself to win a game I didn’t want to play?
- Why did I measure worth by misery endured?
- Why was I letting some dead-eyed executive’s scorecard run my life?
The answers sucked. They showed I’d been living like a well-trained corporate zombie, confusing motion with progress and exhaustion with importance.
But once I got honest about the “why,” the “how” became irrelevant.
- I didn’t need productivity hacks, I stopped doing work that drained me.
- I didn’t need networking strategies, I started having real conversations.
- I didn’t need work-life balance, I designed work that didn’t feel like dying.
The tactics are simple when you quit playing the wrong game.
It turns out you don’t need more hacks when you stop living a life that requires constant self-bullying to maintain.
Time to Choose Your Discomfort
You’ve got two options.
- Keep swallowing tactical advice with your 47 tabs open, pretending one more hack will fix the fact you’re building someone else’s dream.
- Face the question that’s been haunting you.
Why are you working so hard to build a life you need to escape from?
Don’t Google it. Don’t journal it. Don’t turn it into another project.
Just sit with how much that question pisses you off. That anger, that discomfort?
That’s your soul trying to wake up.
Stay comfortable with your tactical band-aids, or get uncomfortable with the truth. Your call.
If that question made you want to punch something, congratulations. You’re ready for real work.
But most of you will close this tab and wonder “how to find your passion.”
Prove me wrong; close your browser. Go stare at your life for 60 seconds. Then decide if you’re done bullshitting yourself.
Quotation I’ve Been Pondering
“A life built on motion is easy. A life built on meaning is much harder, but well worth the effort.”
— Tim Parkins
Journal Prompt
“Where in my life am I choosing motion over meaning. And why?”
Until next week!!
Work and live well.
Tim
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