Hello! 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻
Wishing all of my American readers a happy Thanksgiving weekend. 🦃 I hope you’ve been able to spend quality time with family and friends, and able to reflect on some of the amazing things to be grateful for. With so much focus on negativity, war, and the daily stresses of life, Thanksgiving weekend is a wonderful time to put all that on pause.
Given the holiday, I focused on the theme of gratitude. But I gave it a bit of an interesting, potentially controversial twist! Gratitude might not be just a virtue; it can also be a strategic tool for improving your life.
Enjoy the read!
Tim
The Gratitude Contradiction: A Surprising Twist To Being Thankful
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During the season of Thanksgiving, our thoughts often turn to gratitude. Commonly seen as a noble, altruistic emotion, everyone knows we should be more grateful. However, there’s a less discussed side to gratitude: its role as a strategic tool for personal gain. In this article, we explore how directing our attention to the good in life not only uplifts us, but can also be a clever strategy to get more of what we want.
The Psychology of Gratitude and Self-Interest
Psychological research has firmly established the mental health benefits of gratitude. A grateful mindset leads to better mood, reduced stress, and improved well-being. These benefits go beyond just feeling good. By improving our mental health, gratitude paves the way for increased personal effectiveness. Happier, less stressed individuals are more productive, creative, and successful in their pursuits. Thus, gratitude, while seemingly selfless, can be a potent tool for enhancing one’s personal success.
Being Grateful Improves Relationships
The regular expression of gratitude can be much more than a courtesy; it can also be an effective strategy for nurturing relationships, both in the workplace and your personal life. When we express genuine thanks to our spouse, friends, colleagues, employees, or business partners, we’re not just acknowledging their effort; we’re also strengthening our relationships with them. The deeper your relationships with people are, the better your quality of life will be. Not to mention that people in your professional network will be more likely to open doors to new opportunities and collaborations if you’re known to be someone who appreciates other’s efforts.
Gratitude Creates Abundance
While it may sound a bit ‘woo-woo’, there is sound evidence that you get more of what you focus on in life. The book and movie ‘The Secret’ popularized this idea as ‘the law of attraction’. To be clear, sitting around focusing on what you’re trying to attract more of in your life won’t get you more of it. You need to do the work to get what you want in life.
But, we all know that what we pay attention to matters. It matters a lot. Reality is complex and not well understood, even with all our advancements in technology and science.
There is a cognitive bias known as the ‘Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon’ or, more commonly, ‘frequency illusion’. This phenomenon occurs when something you’ve recently noticed, experienced, or been told about suddenly seems to appear with a surprising frequency. For example, after you buy a red car, you likely notice more of the same colour and model of car around you. This isn’t because there are suddenly more of these cars on the road, but because you’re now primed to notice them.
Your perceptions shape your reality, so focusing on all the things you can be grateful for will allow you to experience more things to be grateful for. Who doesn’t want that?
Expressing Gratitude Creates Better Teams
Leaders who regularly express gratitude foster a more productive and motivated team environment. This, however, isn’t just about creating a positive work culture; it’s also a strategic move to enhance a leader’s influence and effectiveness. Teams that feel appreciated are more loyal, engaged, and driven—qualities that directly contribute to the success of a team.
Not only will a team that feels appreciated do better work, the leader of such a team has a much easier time recruiting people to join the team. Word travels. And when you have an easier time attracting talent, you create a virtuous cycle of delivering incredible work and creating an environment that draws people in. Win-win.
Economic Benefits of Gratitude
Gratitude can positively impact one’s financial well-being. A grateful mindset often correlates with better financial decisions—grateful people are more patient, less impulsive, and more strategic in their financial planning. This means that gratitude can be a subtle yet powerful tool for improving one’s economic status.
Being Grateful for Challenges
Wait, what? Why on earth would you want to be grateful for having something difficult in your life?
Because it forces you to grow.
I’ve gone through several major challenges in life, including a severe burn-out that led to me being hospitalized in a mental institution. But I am so grateful for having had that experience; it forced me to change my life significantly and led to a higher-quality of life. I wouldn’t have got there without going through that challenge.
So while they may not feel good in the moment you are facing them, challenging situations in life are something you should appreciate. In fact, those are the most important aspects of life to appreciate. It is easy to appreciate the things that everyone appreciates.
Learning to appreciate difficult situations is next-level.
Conclusion
While we all see gratitude through the lens of altruism and kindness, it’s also worth viewing it as a strategic tool that you can harness for personal growth. By acknowledging and appreciating all aspects of your life, even the more challenging aspects, you’ll enhance your well-being and open yourself up to a world of new possibilities.
This Thanksgiving weekend, as you reflect on what you’re thankful for, also consider how gratitude can be a key player in your strategy for success.
Quotation that I have been pondering
The legendary Oprah Winfrey has a deep understanding and appreciation of the role gratitude can play in life. She shows this in this week’s quote, which directly relates to the idea that gratitude can help you get more of what you need in life.
Journal Prompt
It is quite easy to be grateful for many things that we consider “good”. For example, very few of us struggle to be grateful for:
- an amazing meal
- spending quality time with loved ones
- a beautiful sunset
It is obvious to appreciate these things. I encourage you to go a layer or two deeper, writing out your thoughts.
