Hey everyone!
Thanks for subscribing and reading. I know how valuable your time and attention are, so seek to ensure that I add value.
Every Sunday I bring you an article, an interesting quote that has been on my mind, and a journal prompt, all related to working and living better.
If you know someone that you think would find this content useful, please forward this on to them! I want to be useful to as many people as possible.
Please reach out (tim@timparkins.com) if you have questions for me or topics you’d like to see me cover.
Self-care Advice That Can Save Your Career And Life
Have you ever been on the precipice of a total career meltdown? This week, I met with someone who was. It was immediately apparent that this person was heading for disaster unless they took immediate action. They were buckling under the weight of career pressures, an unsupportive boss, and personal family troubles.
In her words, she was “done”.
I couldn’t help but see a past version of myself in her – lost in an ocean of endless work, gasping for air. Sleepless nights, a brain shrouded in fog, and the feeling there was no way out. It was all too familiar. It reminded me of my descent into work-related burnout, a time when I found myself in a mental institution, grappling with a shattered psyche.
However, unlike me, she had the self-awareness to reach out before she hit rock bottom – a move I wished I had made when I faced this type of situation. Lesson learned!
The Importance of Self-Care
In our conversation, we explored the crucial role of self-care and the need to act upon detection of trouble signs. I suggested she take a day or two off work to allow herself time to step back and reflect. She was resistant to the idea. Her resistance to taking a day off because “it was not a good time” echoed a common struggle for high-performers. Work will always be there, but if you don’t take care our yourself, your health might not be there. It will never be a good time for time off. But it will certainly never be a good time for a burnout either, which is where you will end up if you don’t take care of yourself.
When you are great at solving problems for someone, you will get handed more problems.
When you’re drowning in problems, you MUST step back and prioritize self-care. Failing to do so will eventually result in a crash. I don’t care how good you are; you aren’t superhuman. In talking with her, she expressed she felt she should be superhuman, which is so obviously an unhealthy expectation to have of yourself (or anyone!).
Being Willing to Open Up
I suggested she talk to her boss, to let him know how she was feeling. The idea of being vulnerable, opening up to her boss about her struggles, made her shudder in dread.
This is a common struggle. High-performers hate to admit that they have weaknesses, that there is something they’re struggling with. They identify as being strong, resilient, and able to tackle any situation. Communicating that they aren’t okay goes against their very idea of who they are.
She feared being seen as incapable, not “good enough”. I empathized with her, having been in her shoes. Yet, I assured her that speaking up was not only necessary but could also result in one of two outcomes:
- Her boss doesn’t understand or thinks she can’t handle the job. This would reveal a toxic work environment that she needs to escape from. Very useful information to have.
- Her boss understands and provides the support she needs to take care of herself.
Ultimately, there’s no losing to opening up in this situation, as long as one can embrace vulnerability. It’s a challenging task, but not an impossible one.
Our conversation re-energized me and reminded me of why I do what I do. I love being able to help people solve their struggles with work, allowing them to emerge healthier and stronger on the other side. There is no feeling like seeing people overcome challenges because of their work, combined with me offering a helping hand.
You’re Not Alone
It’s common to feel you are the only one who can’t cope with work or life. Remember, there is no shame in struggling. The reason you struggle is that you care, but you don’t need to struggle alone. In almost every situation in life, there are more people who care around you than you may think. Talk to them, share your story. Most people don’t want to see others suffer, and can relate to being overwhelmed. You are not alone.
Conclusion
Remember that your career is a marathon, not a sprint. Much like a marathon, you can’t spend the entire time running full-tilt. It won’t work.
Recognize when you are struggling and ensure you step back when you feel this way. Talk to others. Take care of your body and your mind. You can’t fix things when you are a hot mess of stress, emotions, and fog.
Self-care isn’t selfish; it is a necessity.
Take care of yourselves out there!
Quotation that I have been pondering
James Clear is one of my favourite thinkers about habits and being productive, and he produces an amazing newsletter. I am inspired by some insights he shares in his newsletter and sometimes pass them on to you when they relate to working and living better.
This week’s quote is a gem that comes from James’ newsletter. It is so relevant in our hyper-competitive society. We take ourselves much too seriously.
“Whoever has the most fun wins.”
He hits the nail on the head with this idea. When you can have fun doing your work, your entire perception of the experience changes for the better. Lighten up a bit and see what happens.
Journal Prompt
Many people view work as nothing more than an obligation, something they feel forced to do out of necessity. 😮💨
However, work can mean more than that if you choose to use it as a tool, rather than an activity you’re forced to partake in. Work can be a vehicle for expressing yourself in the world, an opportunity to showcase your talents, strengths💪🏻, and passions ❤️🔥.
That may not seem believable. Before you can accomplish that, you need to get clarity about what you want out of your work. Which is what this week’s journal prompt is all about.
How do you want your work to feel? And how do you want it to make you feel? What are the qualities?
Having this clarity will help you understand ways you can show up differently at work and impact on the ways you might interact with colleagues.
