Happy Thanksgiving đŚ weekend to all my fellow Canadians! It feels strange to be celebrating the Canadian Thanksgiving when the weatherâs been so warm, but itâs an amazing time of the year. The leaves are just exploding with vibrant colours right now, and the bugs are mostly gone, making it even more enjoyable to be out in nature.
I hope that you all had a great week, and that you took some time to rest and recharge over the weekend. Too often we use the precious weekend time to do all the errands and chores around the house that we didnât have time to do during the week. Remember that making time for yourself to recharge is one of the most productive uses of your time; you canât run on empty.
Even if youâre not celebrating Thanksgiving weekend because youâre not Canadian, I encourage you to spend at least a few minutes in gratitude. We donât need to wait for an official holiday to be grateful for the things we have in our life. Appreciating what weâve got should be something we do regularly.
Enjoy this weekâs read and have an amazing week!
As always, please reach out to me at tim@timparkins.com if youâve got any feedback on any of the content I create, or if youâve got a topic youâd like to see me cover; I am here to help.
Cheers!
Tim
â
â
How Being Intentional About Your Identity Will Explode Your Progress đ
â
You are a human being, not a âhuman doingâ. Yet I will bet that you focus a lot more on what you are doing rather than on who you are being. We all have to-do lists, but I have not heard of many people having a âto-beâ list, even though I think that a âto-beâ list is more useful.
Fact: you will never get through all the items on your to-do list! This is a simple fact of life that you might as well accept. The better you get at delivering on your tasks, the more tasks you will end up getting handed (or add yourself).
I donât remember where I heard of the idea of having a âto beâ list; I had heard it quite some time ago on a podcast. The concept was that we are âhuman beingsâ, not âhuman doingsâ, but we always focus on the things we do, rather than on how we should be in the world.
The idea really resonated with me, and I took the time to prepare a to-be list. I took some time to reflect on the type of behaviours that my âideal selfâ who have. How would they act? What would they prioritize? How would they treat the people that they encountered? What factors would influence their decision-making?
I ended up boiling it down to the following key ways of being that I wanted to strive for.
- Be empathetic. Pay attention to the manner in which I communicate, thoughtful of what others need and want, and conscious of how they may perceive things.
- Be wise. Ensure that my choices move me towards the life that I desire. Ensure that I apply long-term thinking, considering second and third-order consequences. Understand that every decision and action that I take compounds with time.
- Be reflective. My default is quick action, like the proverbial bull in the china shop. My ideal self does not procrastinate, but allows time to let ideas simmer and stew. By thinking things through before acting, I increase my effectiveness.
- Be healthy. Make the right choices concerning the foods I choose to eat and ensure that I get a moderate amount of exercise in daily. Only consume alcohol in moderation. Meditate daily. Remind myself that taking care of my body, mind, and soul is the only way to respect myself.
- Be playful. Time management practices are helpful, and getting things done feels great. But life is not all about squeezing more productivity out of every day. Ensure that I take time each day to do an activity that I enjoy. Those are the moments that allow me to recharge, enabling me to be more effective over the long term.
- Be humble. The older I get, the more I realize I donât know. Even the things I thought I knew with certainty come into question. While that can be scary, as the human mind craves certainty, remaining humble and open to new insights and information is the best way to allow learning. Learning leads to growth and expansion.
- Be honest. Speak truthfully to others to let them know what I feel or think, even when it is hard or inconvenient. In fact, that is when truth is even more important. I can speak what I believe to be true respectfully and kindly, even when it will create some awkwardness. By speaking truth, it opens up the channel for true dialogue and learning.
- Be kind. To others, and especially to myself. My default is to treat others kindly, but to be hard on myself. Over time, Iâve realized how unhelpful that is. It is honestly something I still struggle with. I need to treat myself as someone Iâm responsible for helping; framing it like that makes it feel easier somehow.
This list of the ways I want to be in the world has evolved with time. I review this list and reflect on them every morning, shortly after waking up, and before I get into my day. This helps me frame my intentions for the day, to help me face the day with the mindset with which I want to approach my life.
Iâve found that starting my day off the right way is a critical step to having better days; the momentum carries me. That means I can go through my day with less willpower and discipline, and more ease and calm. I have less need to âforceâ things, allowing them to just unfold. I can trust them to unfold the way I need them to, as I take my decisions based on the ideals that Iâve set for myself.
Of course, this is all still very much a work in progress for me.
It always will be.
Please understand that you canât have an empty to-do list; that is called âdeathâ.
Having nothing on your to-do list would mean that youâve nothing left to contribute to the world; not exactly something to aim for.
So stop trying to do everything on your to-do list. Instead, figure out how you wish to be in the world, and do your best to act in alignment with that vision of your ideal self.
Times are tough economically and budgets are tighter than ever. Investing in yourself and your career development might seem like a ânice-to-have,â not a âneed-to-have.â However, there is no better use of money than moving yourself towards the career and life you long for.
I know itâs not cheap to embark on a big coaching program; it is a major commitment. Which is why Iâve put in place a new, lower-cost way to work with me. I donât want you to have any excuses for staying stuck in a job you hate.
For less than a hundred bucks, you get a personal one-hour consultation with me. Weâll deep-dive into whatever career challenges youâre facing and come up with actionable steps to get you back on track. Not sure how long Iâll keep this going, so hit me up on this offer soon.
Letâs build a career you donât just like, but LOVE! đ
â
Quotation that I have been pondering
This weekâs quote thatâs been on my mind comes from William Makepeace Thackeray, who is not someone I was familiar with before. According to his Wikipedia page, heâs an English novelist and illustrator from the mid 1800s. I am not sure where I came across this quote from him, but his idea is timeless;
âLife is a mirror: If you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.â
This is such an astute observation, and something I know to be true. To be clear, just because I know it to be true doesnât mean that I donât occasionally fall into the trap of negativity and pessimism; I am only human. But I naturally lean towards optimism and the belief that âbetter is always possibleâ, which is one of my tag-lines.
Smile more to live better. It costs you nothing, and the impact on your overall quality of life is huge.
Journal Prompt
Given that itâs the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, I canât help but have the concept of gratitude on my mind. Thereâs a virtuous cycle that is created when you approach your life with gratitude; you are more likely to treat both yourself and others with kindness, which often helps others feel some gratitude too.
Gratitude is a âpeace and well-being amplifierâ in the world. We need much more of that these days.
In that spirit, this weekâs journal prompt asks you to consider how you might be of service to your community;
Whatâs one way you can brighten a neighbourâs day today?
It doesnât need to be big, flashy, or expensive. (In fact, itâs better if itâs not.)
Reflect on one small thing you can do to make your community a better place to be, and then do it. It wonât change the entire world, but it may change yours.
â
