Feeling Surrounded By Negativity? Here’s Why (you might not like the answer!)

If you’re feeling like the world is unfair, you’ll find no shortage of things to confirm it. Life will present plenty of evidence that matches the way you feel. This idea aligns with the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, or frequency illusion—a cognitive bias that makes something you recently noticed or learned about seem to appear everywhere. When you focus on something, like a particular model of a red car, it seems like they’re all around you. This isn’t some weird magic or anything; it is nothing more than your attention at work. Whatever you focus on becomes your reality, whether it’s positive or negative. There is so much information surrounding you it’s impossible to process it all, so your mind chooses what data to pay attention to, and what to ignore. The result is that when you’re stuck in frustration or negativity, the world reflects it right back.

This concept isn’t new. It’s explored in books like The Secret, which suggests that like attracts like and that our thoughts and attitudes shape our experiences. However, thinking about something and hoping it will manifest isn’t enough to bring it to life. There is no magic. But when you direct your attention toward something meaningful, like a goal that matters to you, your brain identifies opportunities you might have overlooked before. You notice resources, people, and ideas aligned with your vision, and these open doors that might have otherwise stayed invisible.

The ancient Hermetic philosophy expresses a similar idea with the phrase “as within, so without.” It teaches that your inner world—your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs—shapes the outer world you experience. Your reality mirrors your internal state. This is a profound insight that will change your life once you understand it. By transforming how you see yourself and what you believe is possible, you can alter your external reality in meaningful ways. This concept underpins much of modern psychology and personal development, which encourages you to look inward to influence and improve the outer world.

For example, if you’re unhappy in your job, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of resentment and dissatisfaction. And if financial stress is weighing you down, the feeling of scarcity can feel inescapable. You’ll have convinced yourself that you’re broke and don’t have enough, and that people that have money are evil.

These are dangerous spirals to be caught in. Rather than staying trapped in these negative mindsets that reinforce a reality you don’t desire, focus on small, achievable changes. Identify aspects of your work that bring you a sense of fulfilment, or reshape your role bit by bit. If finances are a concern, set a small goal each month to improve your financial health. Even these minor shifts toward positive change can dramatically alter your outlook and your reality.

Surrounding yourself with the right type of people is also key to creating a positive reality. When you’re around people who bring out the best in you, who encourage you, and who lead by example, you naturally adopt those same traits and perspectives. Conversely, if you’re surrounded by negative or toxic energy, it becomes harder to break free from it. Curate your environment carefully—people, spaces, media, and even the information you consume daily.

On that note, turning off the news, especially during the craziness of the current election cycle, can have a profound effect on your mood and perspective. Constant exposure to negativity and outrage creates a distorted view of the world, making it feel darker than it really is. Allow yourself space from this bombardment and notice how it changes your mindset.

Remember, both the positive and negative aspects of life exist; both are true. But it’s where you choose to focus that defines your experience. By placing your attention on positive aspects, you’re not ignoring reality—you’re shaping it. You’re choosing to make the most of your circumstances and create a reality that energizes and empowers you.

This mindset isn’t about denying the struggles and challenges; it’s about choosing to place your attention on the things that lift you up rather than drag you down.

So, what reality will you choose to create today?

Quotation that I’ve been pondering

I’ve been reflecting this week on a quote from Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, that resonates with our theme of shaping our reality:

“Opportunities are like buses. There’s always another one coming.”

At first, this quote made me pause. Part of me instinctively thinks, “You have to be ready to seize opportunities when they align with your vision.” But after some thought, I realized Branson’s wisdom lies in the reminder that opportunities are abundant. What truly matters is focusing on the opportunity that’s right for you, at the right time. It’s about trusting that, even if you miss one, others will come—each presenting new possibilities to support your journey.

Journal prompt

What am I paying the most attention to in my life right now? Is it something that uplifts and energizes me, or that drains and distracts me from my goals?

Reflect on how your current focus is shaping your reality. Are there areas where a shift in focus could open up new possibilities or bring more positivity into your life?