Hey Reader! 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

While in theory it is spring, it certainly isn’t feeling like it here over the past couple of days!

But I’ve been in this region long enough to understand that there’s always a last snow storm before spring truly gets under way. That’s a pattern that repeats across many domains of life; you are in a period of transition, thinking you’re well on your way, and then there’s an inevitable setback before you get to the other side.

That’s where patience comes in, along with the courage to just keep going. Know that warmer, sunnier days are on the way.

I hope you’ve had a good week and took a bit of time for yourself this weekend. Remember that life is about living, not just about checking things off your to-do list.

This week, let’s explore the relationship you have with your work.

Let’s go!! 💪🏻

Tim

Are You in a Toxic Relationship (with your work)?

How would you describe your relationship with work? Do you feel it is giving you what you need from it? Or – do you feel it is controlling you?

We live in a ‘hustle culture’ that promotes dedicating yourself fully to your work. A 2023 study claimed that on average, professionals in the United States worked about 4.5 hours per week, totalling 233 unpaid hours in a year. (link)

But is that level of commitment to your work what you want?

It’s an important question to reflect on. Many professionals who’ve had some success are in an unhealthy relationship with their work. This can look like:

working long hours, often without being compensated for them.
checking work emails on the weekend or when on vacation
not pursuing other interests or hobbies because you’ve got no energy left after work
feeling you don’t have enough time to exercise or care for yourself
thinking about work tasks and what needs to be done while you’re ‘not working’
not getting enough sleep because you’re feeling stressed about work
not understanding who you are outside of the role you play at work

These are all potential warning signs that work might play too big of a role in your life. If you experience some of these factors, reflect on what role work is currently playing in your life, and what role you want it to play.

Most people never consider what role work should play in their life; they just take it as a given that they need to work. In our work-obsessed culture, we often view people that pour all of their energy into their work as heroes.

But are you truly free if work is controlling almost all of your time and energy?

What is it you want to get out of your work? Some things that are important to me in my work:

provides enough income for me to be comfortable
gives me an opportunity to be creative, to solve problems in fun and interesting ways
has me spending time with people I enjoy being around
feels like the work I’m doing matters to people
being autonomous
ability to manage my work schedule and tasks independently
reasonable work load that doesn’t leave me drained at the end of each day

In speaking with others, I’ve found most people want some version of the above. But yet – many people experience work very differently than that. I know of many that spend most of their “work day” in meetings and furiously responding to instant messages and emails. Then they work during their lunch or after their regular work day to scratch out some tasks they need to get done. While eating dinner with the families, they aren’t present, as they’re busy strategizing how they might get buy-in on their idea, and what they’re going to include in the presentation they need to build.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

In fact, it CAN’T be that way, not over the long term. It isn’t sustainable.

So what can you do if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship with your work?

Define what you’re hoping to get from your work. Remember that work can be about more than putting food on the table and a roof over your head. Or maybe that’s all you want or need from your work (which is okay too!). Write it down. Writing helps you get more clear and specific.
Establish boundaries. How many hours are you going to work? Are you going to put in extra time on the weekends or evenings?
Take off your digital leash. There are few jobs where you truly need to always be available and checking your email.
Speak to your supervisor. Believe it or not, they want you to be healthy and happy with your work. Make sure they know what you need and how they can support you. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that they “should know”.
Take care of your health. Prioritize getting some physical activity in each day. Pay attention to what you consume. Realize when you’re eating or drinking your emotions or stress, and adjust accordingly.
Invest in yourself. Learn about trends in your domain, following your curiosity. People get so caught up in the small day-to-day tasks that they don’t make time to develop themselves.

Once you’ve got some clarity on what your ideal work life would look like, start taking steps towards it, a little bit at a time. Experiment. You likely have a lot more flexibility in the way you work than you think you do. So start designing the way you work so that it brings you closer to your ideal.

There is no perfect job out there, as each person is unique and has differing goals. Instead of investing your time and energy seeking the elusive perfect job, start crafting yours so that it fits you and your goals.

You need to be intentional about designing and building a work life that works for you. No one is going to do it for you.

You got this!

Quotation that I’ve been pondering

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of work and life, and to lose sight of how blessed you are. While I’m sure you face challenges – like every single one of us – your very existence is a miracle. This idea is captured nicely in this quote by one of my favourite historical figures, Albert Einstein:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Make sure you don’t forget to appreciate the journey you’re on. After all, it is your life. And it’s a miracle.

Journal prompt

Everyone wants to be happy. I don’t think that’s a controversial statement at all. However, I’ve noticed that many people don’t fully understand what makes them happy! If you aren’t clear about what things make you happy, you’re unlikely to have much of it in your life.

That’s why you should reflect on the question:

“When am I at my happiest?”

You need to be clear about what makes you happy, and cast aside what society and everyone in your life tells you should make you happy. Being happy is a skill you can (and should!) develop, rather than something you chase.