Hello Reader! 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

What a week. It was a bit of a rough one for me, if I’m honest. The good news is that I demonstrated to myself that I’m resilient and I’ve got plans in place to protect myself when things go off track. Because they will go off the rails sometimes, that’s just a fact of life.

Being able to respond to life’s challenges is a critical skill, and that’s what we’re going to explore this week.

Onwards!

Tim

⚡️Navigating Emotional Storms: How To Design An Emotional Safety Net

photo generated by the author using DALL-E

My stress levels were spiking. I could feel anger rising in me, and I’m sure my blood pressure was through the roof. I got short with people. But I recognized where I was headed and managed to pull myself back into a normal emotional state. This is probably one of the most under-rated skills to have in your professional toolbox.

How did I do it? By having a plan for how to deal with such a situation.

Let’s set the stage.

Work was rough for a few days. It was just one of those periods, when everything seems to come at you at once. There were some projects running late and people were quite unhappy about the situation. One of my key employees was out sick. There were some operational incidents to deal with. I had some personal stuff going on.

It was all just…a lot.

This was a path I’d been down before, where I would let stress get to me. I used to shove it down, to ignore it, to just “grind it out” and get done what I felt needed to get done. I would soldier on.

But that approach led me to a massive burnout, one that put me in a hospital.

Now, I know better. I recognized that my stress levels were rising and getting to where I needed to do something. Luckily, I had a plan. More specifically, I had a ‘trigger action plan’.

Trigger Action Plans

I heard about the idea of developing ‘trigger action plans’ quite some time ago while listening to a Tim Ferriss podcast. There was something about the idea that resonated with me, so I developed some of these plans for myself.

Honestly, I’m not sure if I followed the proper definition of a trigger action plan, but just built them in a way that made sense to me. Essentially, the way I implemented these plans was to determine a set of documented steps I would follow whenever I noticed myself encountering the particular undesired emotional state. Following these pre-determined steps helps me transition from the less desirable emotional state back towards my ideal one.

Having these steps planned allows me to shift from the mode of reacting to one of responding with intention, which is much more effective. Having these steps documented allows me to iterate and improve my responses over time, as I learn what works for myself.

Here’s the process I use for developing these plans.

One trigger I’d developed plans for was feeling stressed. I knew that dealing with stress had been a problem for me in the past, so I wanted to have a plan in place for when I noticed myself feeling that way.

Some stress is fine, and I think a certain level of stress is even beneficial. If you think about it, exercise is basically you intentionally putting stress on your muscles, so it feels obvious that not all stress is bad.

But this week, I felt my stress level was getting to an unhealthy point. I knew wasn’t in my ideal emotional state. Once I recognized this, I activated my plan.

What does the plan look like?

It is easy to over-complicate these things, but I intentionally kept it very simple. Below is an exact copy of my trigger action plan for dealing with stress.

Stress Trigger Action Plan

When I enter this state, I need to focus on getting back to my usual curiosity, zest for life, and optimism for the future. Whether this happens at or outside of work, I need to ensure that I don’t engage in any news/media consumption, as that makes me even more negative. My natural tendency is to engage in this type of content consumption when I have entered a negative mindset, but that puts me on a downward spiral and so is something I should avoid. I also typically want to consume alcohol when I am in that state, and that is a dangerous combination that I should avoid.

The actions for me to take are:

Take 5 deep, calming breaths.
5 minutes of meditation.
Record thoughts in my journal, reflecting on the following questions:
- What is bothering me?
- Why is this bothering me?
- What is in my control?
- What is not in my control?
- How would the “best version of myself” respond in a situation like this?

If still feeling negative after taking those actions, I can:

throw some headphones on and listen to some music
sit outside in sunshine if possible
take a walk

That’s it! As you can see, it is quite a simple plan. But I’ve found it works well for me. You’ll need to personalize it for your situation, as we all respond differently.

It’s rare that I don’t feel a lot better after executing on that plan.

What should you plan for?

In my case, I already had an action plan ready for when I was feeling high levels of stress. How do you know what triggers to plan for? Just start. Think about the last time you felt yourself in an emotional state you did not like. What was the root cause of you being in that state? That is a trigger you should develop a plan for. In my case, I developed plans for when I start to feel:

anger
stress
negativity or depression
boredom or a lack of energy

I’ve pre-determined and listed out the exact steps for me to take when I notice myself entering any of these emotional states. I keep iterating and improving these plans as I observe what works for me and what doesn’t.

In conclusion, the use of ‘trigger action plans’ can be a game-changer when it comes to managing your emotional state. It shifts you from reacting to your emotions to proactively putting yourself into a more desirable and helpful state. Remember, the key is to personalize each plan according to what works best for you. As you implement, observe, and adjust your plans over time, you’ll find yourself better equipped to navigate through life’s challenges and maintain your ideal emotional state.

Quotation that I have been pondering

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits (one of my all-time favourite books) has a quote that connects perfectly with the theme of this week’s newsletter.

“Negative things happen. Negative mindsets make them harder.”

It simply isn’t possible to live without things go wrong. But you can prepare yourself for how you will respond to the negativity. The quicker you’re able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with your day, the better off you are.

That takes a plan. And continued practice.

Journal Prompt

Everyone procrastinates to some degree. And all of us tell ourselves stories about why we do it. Often we tell ourselves and other that “we’ve been really busy and just haven’t had time”. That’s rarely true though. If it was important enough to you, you’d have found the time.

So it is worth reflecting on why you’re procrastinating on something.

“What’s an important task I’ve been putting off for some time? And why am I procrastinating?”

Jot down some thoughts about why you might be putting off something that’s quite important. Procrastination often results from fear or a lack of clarity. Understanding the true reason you’re procrastinating on something is the first step to getting out of your way and moving forward.

Call to Adventure

Feeling adrift in the tempest of modern work and life? Let’s chart your course to calmer waters together. Book a coaching call and discover your own glowing compass and map to navigate the emotional squalls. Let’s turn those storms into stories of triumph.

Embark with me—your guide in the quest for a work life that works for you. 🧭✨

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