Hey, hope that you are all had an amazing weekend!

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Here is my weekly roundup, just a quick summary of what is on my mind these days. I hope that you find it helpful!

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The Goal of Goals

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Part of being human is never being satisfied. We always hunger for something more, for the next thing. We constantly push ourselves forward. No success is ever big enough; there is always a next level.

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And that is okay. But — we need to be careful. Because what that means is that we cannot afford to put off our happiness until we have achieved our goal. Or you will never be happy.

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It is very flawed thinking to believe that you will be happy when you achieve your goal, when you have x dollars in the bank, when you write that book you’ve been dreaming about, when you buy your dream house. By the time you accomplish whatever your big goal is, you will — by definition — have changed as a person. You may be happy for a brief stint, but then it becomes your “new normal”. And you will then chase a new goal, because you are a new person; you “levelled-up”.

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The cycle begins again.

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You need to understand the “goal of goals”, the whole point of setting them. People mistakenly believe that the whole point of setting a goal is achieving it; they are mistaken.

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The point of setting a goal is to become someone new, someone who you long to be.

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What that means is that you need to align your goals with the type of life that you want to build for yourself. So that you can enjoy the journey of becoming, as it never ends.

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This means adopting an entirely different approach to setting goals. We are taught that goals need to be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound).

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Instead of thinking about goals in this manner, I encourage you to think about setting goals that have you putting your time and energy into things that you enjoy doing or skills that you seek to build. While it’s helpful to imagine the end-state, the realization of your goal, you should also imagine the journey. What will it mean to accomplish the thing that you are setting out to do? And is that how you want to spend your time?

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That is why most people fail at achieving goals. They want the outcome of the goal, but they don’t want the process that achieving the goal implies.

They want to drop 20 pounds, but they also want to keep eating things they shouldn’t. They want to publish a book, but they don’t want to spend an hour a day writing. I’m sure you can see the problem here.

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Pick your goals based on what processes you will need to put in place to achieve them and ensure that you are ready to commit to the process.

Do that, and you will be one of the rare people that actually achieves their goals.

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Doing Things When You Don’t Feel Like It.

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I quite enjoyed the article “Three Habits to Stay Healthy in a Hectic World” , written by Darius Foroux. ​

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The part of the article that resonated the most with me was the third habit that he listed; “doing things when you don’t feel like it”. I believe that this is one of the key ingredients to success and even to happiness.

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I know what you are thinking; “how can doing something that you don’t feel like doing lead to happiness?” Maybe that does sound crazy, but my experience has shown that it can, and does.

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When you set out to achieve a goal, it will inevitably require that you change something in your life. You will need to form new habits. Doing things that are new to you will be required. This will require you to stretch, to come out of your comfort zone. To do new things that you frankly won’t be good at.

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And that will be an immense blow to your ego.

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You will need to face the fact that you are not quite as good as you thought you were, that maybe you don’t have what it takes. So you won’t want to do the thing that is going to move you forward. You will make up a million (mostly valid!) reasons why the time isn’t right, and that tomorrow is when you will get after it.

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Just do the hard thing that you don’t want to do, the thing that will most move you forward.

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And I can almost guarantee that you will feel better afterwards. You will be proud of yourself for taking action, for moving yourself closer to your goal.

It is not the achievement of a goal that brings the most joy; the joy is found in the process of making progress. That is where the real magic is.

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So, do the hard thing. It will make you happier.

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Quote that I have been reflecting on

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Sometimes we need a stark and direct reminder that we alone are responsible for where we are at in life. I like how this quote drives that home.

Journal Prompt

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Take some time to think deeply about the prompt below and note what you observe.

Even if you are standing still, remember that the rest of the world is not. So you are effectively falling behind. And if you are running away from something, I encourage you to stop. And reflect on what you want to move towards.

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Because if you just run blindly, you may not like where you end up.

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Take care of yourself.

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Tim

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